Archer, What Can I Say?

Is not your kid's cartoon...

I've already admitted to a taste for guilty pleasures.  The adult cartoon, Archer, is another.  This late night FX TV MA LSV offering is named for Sterling Archer, a self-absorbed super spy who is prone to say things like "All I've had today is, like, six gummy bears and some scotch."  He works for a quasi-governmental, quasi-commercial spy agency ISIS (the International Secret Intelligence Service), owned by Malory Archer, the boss from hell and his mother.  ISIS also employs Lana Kane, a buxom super spy with man hands, whose favorite fashion option is the sweater dress, and who knows her way around a TEC-9 machine pistol (Where do you even get those these days?).  The ISIS staff also include a secretary with a variety of issues and some disturbing tastes, a comptroller with a secret or two, an HR manager with a past and a taste for doughnuts, and a scientist who may be one of the Boys From Brazil.

Recurring characters include the owner of a competing security and espionage firm with a secret interest in ISIS, a KGB director with a secret American love interest, and a pair of hapless German assassins.

Archer offers up all the buckets of blood we knew were there but never got to see in Johnny Quest, which Archer resembles stylistically.  It also serves up ludicrously sized portions of shootings, explosions, sex, drug abuse, eating disorders, sexual innuendo, dysfunctional relationships, hostile work environments, deviant sexuality, mommy issues, graphic violence, sex workers, tight budgets, adult language, sex addiction, alcohol abuse, smoking, dangerous sex, and accurately detailed depictions of firearms and military ordnance.  I know, it sounds great, right?

I've been watching Archer on NetFlix where it is included in their Watch Instantly service.  Season One was brilliant all the way through.  The second season sags a bit but recovers neatly.  I'm really looking forward to season three (and a fourth has been announced).  Archer is what we like to call "a hoot."  Not a show you'd watch with your kids, or your parents, but it's a hoot. 

Images: http://archer.wikia.com/wiki/Archer_Wiki

Dummy Cameras

For Dummies...

Dummy cameras have long been repudiated as both ineffective security and a serious liability concern.  Normally people who sell simulated security cameras to their clients don't talk about it where security professionals are likely to hear about it.  Our eyes bug out, our faces turn red, our neck veins bulge, and we tend to sputter incomplete and uncomplimentary sentences.  It ain't pretty.

Jordan Frankel, The Security Sensei, is proprietor of Global Security Experts, Inc. (GSE), which sells some useful products, such as the simple, sturdy, and affordable OnGARD door brace, STARTLE security lights, and DIY security window films.

Mr. Frankel first attracted my attention while pitching high-end panic rooms to the well-monied by leveraging their fears.  We went a couple rounds in 2011 but, having said about all I had to say about his safe room marketing tactics, I quit engaging Mr. Frankel in dialogue and debate on that issue.

So there I was, minding my own business Friday afternoon, when The Security Sensei posted a marketing blurb at the LinkedIn ASIS International group (for a few hours*), explaining that GSE is now proud to offer the SMART dummy camera, stating:

Dummy cameras are considered one the most cost-effective solutions for thwarting burglaries and home invasions.

...a high quality fake surveillance camera can be a vastly effective means of deterring and fooling burglars and other criminals from targeting your property.

Says who?  Evidence?  Statistics?  Studies?  Legal precedent?  Litigation judgements?  Anything?

The GSE advertorial promotes the realism of their solar powered, wireless, home security, dummy camera saying it features:

A bright LED light. One of the most important features you can have on a dummy camera is an LED light, and the brighter the light the better. Having a brightly illuminated power light creates the psychological deterrent criminals need to make them think the camera is real, giving them a reason to stay away. 

Problem is, real security cameras don't have LEDs, let alone flashing ones, and I imagine  most serious bad guys know that.  What's more, the camera housing is labeled OnGARD and has the Security Sensei logo on the side.  Take a moment to Google the phrase OnGARD security camera.   Among the first couple hits you're served is an eBay ad:

Fake Security Camera | Solar Powered by ONGARD

Fools Burglars, Home Invaders & Vandals | Dummy Camera

Okay, let's do the same for Security Sensei camera.  Similar results.

So, it seems this technological faux marvel will be most effective deterring criminals with no access to the Internet and a web browser.  But wait, there's more.  If a mildly Internet savvy burglar scrolls through the advert images he may also notice that the OnGARD SMART dummy camera has a secret: 

Hide-A-House Key feature

Now that's a very helpful feature indeed, but not for the homeowner.

So, am I being too hard on The Security Sensei?  You tell me.  Scaring people to get them to buy security solutions they don't need may be unethical.  Selling fake security hardware that makes people feel protected when they're not may be dangerous.  The Security Sensei seems to do both.

*The LinkedIn blurb under discussion was posted for a few hours and then removed shortly after a few security professionals sputtered some incomplete and uncomplimentary sentences.

Image: http://www.prweb.com/releases/2012/6/prweb9557774.htm

Curiouser and Curiouser

NASA's Curiosity rover speeds closer and closer to its high tech date with destiny...

When the car-sized MLS Curiosity rover arrives at Mars in August it will encounter a problem that has been the death of more than a few of the robot explorers we've sent to the Red Planet.  While only 1% as dense as on Earth the atmosphere that surrounds Mars is still thick enough to burn up arriving craft from friction heating.  On the other hand the atmosphere is too thin for parachutes to be of much use.  As one of the speakers in the following talk explains, "It's too dense to ignore, but too thin to help." 

NASA has a plan they hope will work.  It's detailed in this fine little video, Challenges of Getting to Mars: Curiosity's Seven Minutes of Terror.  Wicked challenge, awesome engineering, fascinating stuff.  Upon their clever solution all depends.

 Image: NASA/JPL-Caltech by way of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_Science_Laboratory

Happy Solstice!

My second favorite pagan holiday…

With arrival of the solstice, Summer begins in the Northern Hemisphere at 23:09 Greenwich MeanTime on 20 June 2012. 

Solstice is taken from the Latin solstitium, sol (sun) and stitium (to stop), reflecting the idea that the noonday Sun appears to stop rising higher in the sky on this day.  It also marks the longest day – as measured from sunrise to sunset - of the year.

This and other celestial events were tracked by anonymous early peoples who may be regarded as humankind’s first astronomers using structures such as Stonehenge.

A pagan holiday since pre-historic times, Summer Solstice was co-opted and re-purposed by Christians for celebration as the birthday of John the Baptist.  Winter Solstice became the much more high profile Christmas.

These days various neo-pagans, history buffs, and amateur astronomers still pause to note the turn of the seasons as inscribed in the heavens.

Happy Solstice! 

Image credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonehenge

Moonrise Kingdom

Is Wes Anderson's best movie ever...

Cassie took to me dinner and a movie for Father's Day.  The movie we chose was Moonrise Kingdom.  We found out why it's been sold out the last two times we tried to see it.  There is something spectacularly, wonderfully wrong with the inside of Wes Anderson's head.  He does not, perhaps cannot, see the world the same way normal people do.  His ability to show us what the world looks like to him is his profound gift to us.  Anderson is too young for Moonrise Kingdom to be his semi-autobiography, but I hope it is drawn from someone's story.   It is hilarious and heartfelt, gentle and subversive.  If you do not find Moonrise Kingdom funny and wistful, magical and fantastical throughout you are a sad and broken person (no pressure).  It may be the best movie I've seen all year.